How to Get Your Spouse to Adopt a Plastic-Free Lifestyle
You probably started on your plastic-free journey because you saw an article or news profile about the effects of plastic on our ocean. Or you were tired of your house always being cluttered by “stuff”. No matter what the motivation, you started, you took the first step on this journey. (Have I mentioned how awesome you are?) The first step was maybe bringing your reusable shopping bag to the grocery store or committing to carrying a reusable water bottle with you.
While you’re excited to reduce the amount of plastic in your life, your spouse, significant other, roommate, parents, or whoever may not be buying into your new plastic-free lifestyle. And dare I say, maybe even against your goal of living plastic-free.
It’s ok. After a decade of being an environmentalist there’s one thing I know for sure…people do not like change. They are especially resistant to change if it is not their idea. So, while trying to convince them to change seems like the most noble thing to do for our planet (or for the tidiness of your home)–your efforts will likely be not as successful as you had hoped.
So, how exactly do you get them to change their mind? Consider these tips:
- Talk about your motivation, once
- Don’t use guilt
- Be careful not to judge
- Make it easy for them
- Set an example
- Mention the benefits
- Give them space
- Celebrate their wins
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Talk about your motivation, once
Your spouse, family member, or roommate probably cares about you. (Maybe not your roommate, but perhaps that’s a reason for a new one?) And being a caring spouse or family member, they want to support you in general. So, sitting down and having a heart-to-heart conversation about why you’re living plastic-free is a good start.
I’m a surfer. I grew in San Diego where the beach is the best part about living in San Diego. So, imaging there’d be a day where my kids can’t swim in the ocean without wading through a layer of plastic…to me, that’s unacceptable. So, I live a plastic-free life and help write plastic-free legislation so my kids can experience the beauty of the ocean without the plague of plastic pollution.
That’s my motivation. And to most people, that’s a very reasonable motivation. No one really questions when moms want a better world for their kids.
So, sit down with your spouse and let them know your motivation. The key though, is to have one heart-felt conversation and leave it at that. You don’t want to constantly remind your family member that you’re doing this for your kids because it then becomes a guilt trip. Which brings me to my next point…
Don’t use guilt
It’s really easy these days to be like “You can’t buy that plastic bag of chips because you’re killing the whales!!!” Or “You should skip the straw to save the turtles!”. But let’s think about the last time you were guilted into something.
The person probably laid on a thick layer of guilt. And you were doing some complicated mental gymnastics to figure out how to get out of their request. In the end, you begrudgingly did whatever it was they were guilting you into. But now, you’re either avoiding that person, or have a bad association with whatever they asked you to do.
If you guilt someone into avoiding plastics, they will associate plastic-free living with something negative. Using guilt to get someone to do anything will either result in them not doing it or doing it once and never wanting to do it again. Don’t use guilt!
Be careful not to judge
The other tricky thing about wanting to convince someone of a different lifestyle is that the person will oftentimes feel attacked. Not in a physical way, but emotional way. By starting your journey to live plastic-free, your spouse, family member, roommate will feel like you’re judging them for not living plastic-free.
If they eat an individual-sized plastic wrapped snack, they will feel like you’re judging them for having a snack. If they go to a restaurant and grab a plastic fork while you pull out a foldable set of utensils from your bag, they will feel judged for using a plastic fork.
Even if you’re not judging them, they will feel judged because they know their choice is different from yours.
Your spouse needs to know that you’re not judging them and that this is a personal decision for each of you.
Make it easy for them
The best way to get someone on board with plastic-free living is to make it easy for them. Since it’s my goal to live plastic-free, I do the grocery shopping. I don’t expect my husband to remember to bring beeswax wraps to the deli counter and explain to the clerk that we need a block of cheese handed to us so we can wrap it ourselves.
Instead, I do the shopping and I find plastic-free alternatives to normally packaged snacks.
My husband is great about remembering his reusable coffee cup but if your spouse isn’t, try putting an extra reusable cup in their car. Or put extra reusable grocery bags in their car.
The easier you make it for them, the more likely they will adopt reusable options.
Set an example
Actions speak louder than words. By simply going about your day in a plastic-free way, you’re showing your spouse how it’s done. You don’t need to say “See! Look! I’m saving a plastic cup and lid by using my reusable cup!”. You’re also showing your spouse that it’s not too difficult to live plastic-free.
The other great thing about setting an example is that if you have kids, you’re showing them that using reusables is the norm. And that has an even bigger impact. When your child sees you filling a reusable produce bag in the grocery store, they will see this as a normal habit. Even better if they see someone else using a plastic bag, they will see a difference and will question it. Which provides an excellent opportunity to teach them about plastic-free living and explain why you’re doing it.
Mention the benefits
Every once and a while I’ll share some new item I found in the bulk section with my husband. I’m genuinely excited when I find these items so of course I want to share them with him. Like when I found fruit snacks in bulk…the clouds parted, and the angels sang.
So, of course when I got home that day, I had to tell him what I found. And being a supportive husband, he was happy for me but he was also happy to eat some of the delicious fruit snacks. As an added bonus, like I mentioned in Plastic-Free Snacks for Kids, the bulk fruit snacks were cheaper than the packaged version! Who doesn’t like to save money?
By casually mentioning that the tasty plastic-free option you brought home also saves money, you’re building a case for plastic-free living. Just make sure that your conversation around the benefits doesn’t turn into nagging and “you shoulds” because that will turn a good thing into a guilt trip.
Give them space
After you’ve had a heart-to-heart talk about your motivation, you put a reusable coffee cup in their car. You’ve shown by example how easy it can be to use reusables. You haven’t used any guilt trips and done your best to not seem judgey. Now they need some space.
It seems like there’s no progress in space, but the opposite is true. In giving your spouse space, it allows them to figure it out on their own. The best ideas are the ones that come from yourself. So, in order for your spouse to get on board, they need to discover their own motivation and their own system.
My husband has plenty of “space”. He knows that if he wants a plastic packaged snack, he is free to buy it on his own without judgement. I’m not going to lie. I used to give him a hard time and guilt him for those decisions, but I found that it was counterproductive and led to stupid arguments and in the end, not worth it.
And since giving him his space, he’s much less likely to bring home items in plastic.
Celebrate their wins
We are wired for positive feedback. So, celebrating tiny wins is important. By pointing out that your spouse remembered to use their reusable coffee cup, you’re using positive reinforcement to help them continue on their plastic-free journey.
By doing all these things you show your spouse how to live plastic-free but also allow for them to discover their own path. And hopefully, their path will catch up to yours soon enough.
What do you think? Can you try some of these tips with your spouse? What are some of the things you do to convince your family member to go plastic-free?
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