5 Reasons Why I Don’t Encourage My Kids to Give Father’s Day Gifts
Father’s Day is this Sunday and I’m sure your inbox is full of ads for all the “best” Father’s Day gifts. But really, what dad wants another mug, wallet, tie, or pair of socks?
Like most holidays, Father’s Day has become commercialized. It’s another reason for a BIG SALE *jazz hands* and another opportunity for companies to push products that we don’t need or want.
To avoid the commercialization, I don’t encourage my kids to give a gift to their dad and here are 5 reasons why.
1. Gifts miss the point
When I was younger, I dutifully bought my parents gifts on Mother’s or Father’s Day. Like most kids, as soon as I handed over the gift, I felt relieved of my duties as a good daughter. I checked the box and we celebrated our parent. But as good as I thought I was, this completely misses the point. The point of Father’s Day (or Mother’s Day) is to show appreciation.
I love this post called “Please Don’t Buy Me a Father’s Day Gift (And Here’s Why)“. The author, Andrew, instead suggests moms (or other parents) sit down with their kids and ask them what they know about Father’s Day and why we celebrate it. Use this time to talk about why we show appreciation for our dads. This teaches your kids to put themselves in someone else’s shoes which is a helpful tool in teaching them empathy.
So, instead of a gift, have your kids think of ways to show their appreciation that don’t necessarily involve buying something.
2. Gifts can be wasteful
Think about how many “#1 DAD” trinkets are sold around Father’s day. They might stick around for a month or maybe a few years gathering dust on an office desk but eventually, those end up in the trash. Extra socks, ties, mugs, or whatever, those are added to the stock of other socks, ties, and mugs.
My kids are super sweet and thoughtful and would love to buy their dad everything they spot in the store. But again, it’s just more stuff. If dad doesn’t have an idea for something he would really love, don’t buy more stuff just because we’ve been told to buy dad gifts on Father’s Day.
3. Avoid Guilt
Generally, there are three times a year you would normally buy your dad a gift: his birthday, Christmas, and Father’s Day. By encouraging your kids to give a gift on Father’s Day, we’re teaching them a social norm which will stick with them. They will grow up continually feeling like they need to produce a gift during these times of year to be a good child. This is both wasteful and can be guilt-ridden. Also, if there are siblings gift giving can become a competition to buy the best gift which, again, misses the point.
Not only is there guilt on the giving side but there’s guilt on the receiving side. I’m sure there are a lot of parents who would feel guilty re-gifting or getting rid of a gift from their kids. But if the gift is not being used, the gift is just contributing to the continual churn of products being peddled to us.
4. Time is the best show of appreciation
Personally, being a minimalist and a mom, I ask for no gifts on Mother’s Day. We normally celebrate by having afternoon tea at one of the cute local tea houses. But this year that wasn’t possible. So, my husband bought some treats and made tea. We had our own little Mother’s Day tea and kept our tradition alive at home.
These memories with my kids are more precious than anything they could buy at the mall.
5. Make something
If your child is insistent on giving something, have them make a gift. Despite my request for no gifts, I’ll always happily accept a hand-drawn card from my kids. It’s super sweet to hear them describe the details of their drawings to me.
What do you think? Do you agree? Or do you encourage your kids to give dad a gift? Tell me why in the comments!
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